


Destiny's a bitch

by Zi_ra



Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin BBC
Genre: Cannon Era, Destiny, Freeform, Friendship, M/M, Merlin cant escape destiny, Morgana - Freeform, Pining, arthur is the prince, implied pining, mutual respect, uther is still alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zi_ra/pseuds/Zi_ra
Summary: Merlin has no control over his own life, he is indebted to Arthur and his future as King of Albion. Sometimes he resents Arthur for it but he respects Arthur for the friend he is.Arthur also feels a lack of control surrounding his life and Merlin is a breath of fresh air in a world where people treat him like some ethereal deity.But they can't really be friends, can they? A crown prince and his manservant? definitely not.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Destiny's a bitch

Destiny had followed Merlin throughout his life, buzzing in the shadows of every move he made like a hive of bees around a tankard of mead left forgotten in the heat of the midsummer sun. It was an eternally imposing force upon his life, something he did not choose and yet something from which he could not escape. His predestined duty hung heavy in his mind with every move he made, everything he did was a carefully calculated gesture to assure Arthur’s ascension to greatness; his desires and dreams neglected to follow orders he had never specifically been given and yet felt compelled to follow. Premeditation gated his mind and guarded his tongue, nothing he said or did had any other purpose than to raise Arthur to his rightful position as ‘the once and future king’. His friends all strategically chosen, silently vetted to an impossible standard; only those with undoubtable loyalty were suitable, as a result, Merlin was unconditionally lonely. It was inherent practicality, much like wartime tactics or strategic royal alliances; everything he did was motivated by some reticent incitement, he was as well versed as any great warrior or king in the covert works of scheming, although it was not his choice to be so.

It’s not that he did not find friendship with Arthur. The young prince was largely agreeable when the mood suited and Merlin felt a comfort with him that was scarce elsewhere. Arthur was easy to talk to, Merlin could vent his feelings and feel heard without having to construct his thoughts to benefit his cause. His cause was Arthur and he could speak freely to him and only him. Between them, there was a light banter and a comfortable familiarity adopted after years of being together and they both relished in it. Arthur’s chambers were the only place that Merlin didn’t have to look over his shoulder for usurpers or stare beadily at passing nobles, fearful they would attempt an assassination. He could just be Merlin, the young boy from Ealdor that he now battles to hang onto the memory of, and Arthur was free to be himself, liberated from monotonous treaty negotiations and forced diplomacy. This often led to silly inside jokes and trivial taunts which to both boys so used to having to hide behind a guard constantly, felt emancipating. 

That was not to say that Merlin's relationship with Arthur came without difficulties. On occasion Merlin would become overrun with a feeling of resentment towards the crown prince, it was an irrational feeling yet it gnawed at him. It often hit when he stood silent and stoic, diplomatically receiving blow after blow from an ill-tempered Arthur; or when he lay in bed in the perpetual limbo of early dawn, when the moon had set yet the sun had not risen, where the sky transformed from an empty black to a cobalt blue and the dewy air mixed with the cacophony of birdsong and the subdued singings of drunken men stumbling back, in good spirits, from the tavern. Merlin knows that Arthur is not at fault for his inescapable destiny, he believes that Arthur must feel a similar pressure to himself, having to live up to his father’s unattainable expectations day after day. Arthur tries to not be so insufferable all the time. Merlin has noted his conscious effort to be a better master, a better prince and a better friend with much appreciation and a gentle fondness. Growing up as the sole heir to a throne and being given everything your heart desires will do nothing if not turn you into an arrogant, pompous, self-righteous prat but Merlin accosts him when he’s at his worse and he always apologises, sincerely, thanking Merlin for keeping him grounded. 

It’s a challenging relationship at its worst. Having to build your life around a man you would never have chosen is not always easy and sometimes Merlin gets fed up with Arthur’s arrogance and sometimes Arthur just wants Merlin to do as he says without any hint of his usual insubordination but they make it work. They argue often, in the privacy of Arthur's chambers, and offtimes tears are shed but they always make up. They are two sides of the same coin, after all, their paths woven together since the dawn of time and neither would see the other hurt or upset under any circumstances. 

Arthur is often still shocked by Merlin's honesty and lack of propriety around him. No fancy titles, no over-the-top ass-kissing. Merlin’s ability to treat him like a normal person is refreshing and Arthur regards him with a certain tenderness not appropriate for a man of his standing. Arthur feels safe with Merlin, some subconscious feeling of security that Merlin is somehow watching over him and protecting him. It always makes him laugh, to think that Merlin, clumsy, stupid Merlin is somehow his secret protector; yet he feels there is some obscure truth to it. Not that he’d ever admit it to Merlin but he always feels safer riding towards trouble if Merlin is riding by his side, he feels more secure confronting Saxons or bandits if Merlin is with him, admittedly forced by him to hide behind some tree (Arthur would never see the boy hurt, ever) and he always feels more confident in challenging his father if Merlin is stood behind him just to the right. 

From an outsider's perspective, their relationship is an odd one. Why the crown prince, a man who could have any choice of friends he wishes, would choose to devote all his time to a bumbling nobody with seemingly no respect or courtly experience is often beyond even the most intelligent of nobles. Arthur is strangely protective of the boy, offering a harsh glare, a silent warning, to anyone who so much as speaks to Merlin with any note of disdain in his voice. Arthur and his manservant are inseparable, every mission that takes Arthur outside of Camelot’s walls takes Merlin too, any feast, tournament or festival calls for both the prince and the prince’s manservant to stand side by side for the whole evening’s festivities. Rumours spread through the castle like wildfire, nobles gossip, servants overhear and proceed to whisper and giggle every time they pass Merlin in the corridor. Merlin isn’t stupid, he knows what rumours surround him but he can’t afford to care. He knows that the King holds no more affection for him than he does any other servant, he’s just forced to spend more time with Merlin. He isn’t anything in the prince’s eyes and he can’t allow himself to even consider the possibility. 

Arthur, to, knows of the rumours. Morgana often informs him of the secret whisperings of the castle and every time she brings it up he dismisses its truth entirely. If Morgana catches the ghost of a blush that brushes Arthur’s cheeks when she mentions his manservant she doesn’t acknowledge it, for which Arthur is grateful. If what he felt was anything other than respect for a loyal and trustworthy servant he repressed it a long time ago. Merlin is his friend, someone he trusts with his life and someone that he knows will always be a comfort to him in dark moments but it’s not something he can ever concede. It isn’t becoming for a young Prince and certainly not right for a King. Nevertheless, he treats Merlin the same as he always has, such that he would an old friend with whom one can trust the bleakest secrets. 

Merlin knows that he and Arthur could never truly be friends. Maybe in a different time, a different place, with different circumstances, it may have been possible; but not now, now he will have to be complacent with being Arthur’s manservant and Arthur’s destiny. Merlin must trust that fate will keep them together in their rightful places, side by side - he doesn’t have control over his future, the delusion that he did was beaten out of him a long time ago, but he can, and will, pray that whatever is planned for him and Arthur will keep them united evermore and he’ll just have to hope that the intention is enough.


End file.
